Matrons are perhaps the ultimate female authority figure. Maybe it's because they appear in so many situations where males are submissive, nude and/or vulnerable. Whether you're starting school, staying overnight in hospital or starting a long stretch in prison, the thought of Matron and her big ebony hairbrush will no doubt have you trembling at the knees!
A school matron might be the only woman on the staff of a posh finishing school, but no doubt the pupils fear her more than all but the most severe masters. You only have to think of breaking one of her myriad and ever-changing rules and you'll find yourself over her knee, getting a taste of her hairbrush on your bare bottom. And if she feels you aren't properly penitent (or she just fancies a good show in the afternoon) she'll march you down to the headmaster for six of the best on the spot.
The perfect school matron is probably a stout lady from the north of England, dressed in the traditional navy blue garb with timepiece clipped to her breast so she can see when all those naughty boys are late. It would delight her to be able to discipline the sons of stuck-up bankers, doctors and accountants, most of them from ‘down south’ where as far as she is concerned everyone runs riot in an orgy of indiscipline.
Imagine the scenes in a dormitory run by such a creature. Every evening a line of boys stand quaking outside Matron's room, listening to the squeals of the boy before them - usually Henry Hancock - as she spanks his bare bottom bright purple. Matron really has it in for young Henry this term. Has he been breaking her new 'no home comforts' rule? Has the headmaster had a quiet work identifying him as 'one to keep an eye on'? It wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that Henry is a grammar school boy on a scholarship would it? And as for you... You and your friends weren't in your pyjamas by 8pm sharp? Now you'll be supplying Matron's entertainment for the evening, rotating between corner time and squirming across her stockinged lap for the next 3 hours. And even the teachers aren't exempt: 'Think you’re too big for punishment eh? Sneaking out with Mr Winders to the pub after lights out! I don’t care if you’re both old enough to drink, in my book that’s grounds for a leathering any day! And I’ll be having a quiet word with Mr Winders when I’m done with you two!'
Once you've left school, there's still no escaping those merciless matrons. You'll no doubt be in hospital at some point, where you'll find that once again it's the hairbrush-wielding harridan who runs the show. Perhaps your wife will hire your old school matron to keep you and your sons in line during the summer holidays?
And if you're unlucky enough to find yourself in prison, there'll no doubt be a prison matron to carry out all sorts of humiliating and intimate examinations. Though you'll probably be more worried about the 'intimate examinations' your cellmates are carrying out on you by that point!