Cuckold wedding vows

The unsuitability of the traditional wedding vows for modern marriages are well documented.

Fortunately, help is at hand. Here are the new vows recommended by multiple governments and religions to reflect on the needs of today's brides...

I take thee _________ to be my lawful wedded husband...

To spank and to wank...

 

To cheat on and piss on...

To fuck with a strapon

In mouth and in ass...

Your face I will sit on...

Forsaking all others

Except for my lovers...

My boss and your friends...

Uncles, cousins and brother

You will love me...

You will honour me...

And you will always obey me...

forever and ever

Or else...