Thursday, 30 January 2014

A Spanko Manifesto Part 3

The long arm of the law
Any touchy-feely liberal 'rehabilitation' is a complete waste of time compared with the effectiveness of two dozen with the cane and a day in the stocks:


Community spirit would be vastly improved if communities were able to gather in a public place and watch their town's thieves, vandals, adulterers, drunkards and other troublemakers get the living daylights thrashed out of them by ladies and gentlemen of good character. Communities should be able to come together to create their own traditions and ways of punishment, just like in the good old days:

Police constables should be retrained in the arts of paddling, strapping, birching and caning:


Fines would be much more effective if they were accompanied by a stinging bottom - a good spanking from a burly police officer would be a surefire way to stop louts in BMWs speeding through town:

Lawmen will find that corporal punishment is excellent at coercing confessions and making offenders face their guilt:


There should be no concern about coerced confessions - after all who would confess to a crime they didn't commit knowing that an even more serious (and public) flogging awaits them if they do?


This is particularly relevant for offences where further punishment is required to make an example of the offender. Better to thrash the wrong man than no man at all!


  1. Such a policy would empty our overcrowded jails and save a great deal of public money. It wasn't so very long ago that the distrcit cop would not hesitate to use his belt on local delinquents. But he also knew if he hauled them back home he could reasonably expect that dads would also use theirs on teenagers and early twenties.

    1. Well we wouldn't want the jails to be too empty - I'm sure a night in the cells after their flogging would do those delinquent 20-somethings the world of good!

  2. There are plenty of real criminals that would fill them but yes a night in a holding cell to repent wuld be both scary and salutory

  3. When I was 17, I actually got pulled over and cited for a number of violations. Due to the fact it wasn't a first offense, my new stepmother gave me a choice of either being sent to detention, or be placed in a Youth Diversion Program. I opted for the latter. Every Saturday I found myself being escorted to the Fowler Township Police Station over a 4 month long period by my stepmother. Got 3 to 5 swats weekly as she waited outside, then took me home to inspect my red, sore stinging bottom. Sold my car to pay the fine started riding a 10 speed bike, as a result got in the best shape of my life.